Fertilization results

Everything is going brilliantly so far. All 18 eggs were mature enough for ICSI to be performed and out of those 18 there was 15 that fertilized. The nurse said I am incredibly lucky and I certainly feel it! Bring on Sunday's day 3 results.

A good haul

Epu today. All went well 18 eggies collected altogether. Procedure was a bit painful
But manageable.

This is posted from my iPhone so please forgive my lack of details

Its Time!!!!

I had another ultrasound and blood test this morning and this afternoon recieved the exciting news that egg pick up will be Thursday morning sometime!

 This morning i was super calm at my ultrasound compared to normal, in fact so calm i never asked how big the biggest follie was or even how many there were. In my previous post i mentioned i had 20 follicles on each side. Instead i lay there completley calm and dare i say it relaxed,  for someone who had a probe shoved up their veejeejay.  That was until the radiographer started counting the follicles on my right ovary, she got to 29 -  29 FREAKING FOLLICLES!

I froze. I freaked. I said nothing.

I have no idea how many were on the other ovary i never asked and she never counted out loud.

You see i have overstimulated on my very first ICSI cycle way back in 2008. Despite having PCOS and getting 18 eggs at epu my dr never touched on the fact i could get OHSS and so it was only when i couldn't walk and felt like i had water sloshing around inside me that i demanded a BT and was found to be severley overstimulated and put on immediate bed rest.

I'm going to trust in the process though. I have done so many cycles and things finally look like they could be looking up for me. I have had my endometriosis removed and we have recieved this amazing grant where our cycle is fully funded. 

This cycle I will get lots of good qualitiy eggs that will fertilise. I will get the PGD testing done and i will have unaffected embryos to transfer and i will get my miracle baby.

Fingers crossed anyway!

Grow follies Grow!

Well i had my first ultrasound on Friday and i had a few follies but they were still very small at about 10mm. I had 20 follicles on each ovary. Of course this is due to my PCOS and not all Follicles will grow to have an egg but it does mean i'm starting to feel bloated.

I have overstimulated before on my very first ICSI cycle so that is something i am very aware of and very scared of ever happening again. The recommendation from the nurse on friday drink lots and lots of water and rest when i feel i need too. So that is how i have spent my weekend, drinking loads of water and having nana naps. I am still getting over a cold so i haven't felt the best so i really have tried to rest.

Tomorrow i have another ultrasound and blood test. I really am hoping that these follies have grown lots over the weekend. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable and quite nauseus from the drugs so i'm hoping epu is sooner rather than later.

Time will tell i guess

Control Freak

Argh i have been feeling sick all week! I got that sore throat, headache, stuffed nose feeling on Tuesday and i've been downhill since. I was asleep most nights this week by 8pm on the lounge. Today the headaches have gone and the nose has dried up but my throat is still very sore and quite swollen on one side and i still don't feel like eating.

Does anyone feel the pressure to eat really well when on a cycle? I obsess over it actually. I hate breakfast. And this week i have not felt the slightest bit hungry in the moring then i try to force myself to eat something and end up feeling worse.

I really turn into some sort of control freak when on a cycle. I think i end up putting more pressure on myself than required because if i get another BFN i want to be able to say to myself "You did everything possible to make it work".

Last day of work yesterday at my old job. Two weeks holiday than i start the new job. Had a great day and was even able to have a little giggle when one of my co-workers said "Do you really think going back to work 5 days is a good idea, I mean you should start seriously thinking about having a baby and then work around the baby. You don't have forever to fall pregnant you know but you have many more years of work left in you". Ahhh the life of a fertile - thanks for the advice and the reminder!

The stars are aligning!

Oh my gosh i woke up this morning oblivious to what was going to happen to me. I had to travel an hour to the next town to get a BT to check my levels were rising from the puregon. I got that done no dramas at all. I then had about 5 hours to kill before i had a meeting to attend.

I went shopping but since i've been scrimping and saving every dollar for this cycle i couldn't buy anything. Needless to say i got bored of that quickly so i decided i would go and see a movie - i chose the Smurfs!!!! It was funny and there was only me and one other person in the theatre so that was cool.

Anyway after the movie i noticed a missed call on my phone. It was from someone at my clinic. I rang back assuming it was my BT results. It wasn't. In fact this phone call was going to change my day. In July i applied for a PGD grant through my clinic. It closed end of July and was for either full funding or part funding of a PGD cycle. The panel was to meet in August and notify the successful applicants, however there were so many applications the panel decided to tighten the criteria and meet again in september to review the applications. The lady was ringing to tell me we were successful and are recieving a grant to pay for our whole cycle!  (which costs $12 000). I burst into tears and was sobbing to this poor lady on the phone who i think was just ecstatic to be sharing such wonderful news with an obviously very grateful person. This morning i had no idea i was going to get the best news ever. I feel like i have won the lottery and have been crying on and off all afternoon.

Finally everything is falling into place - new job, clinically funded cycle now all i need is my take home baby

I'm not sure why out of all those people that applied we got chosen but i am so grateful and can't stop thinking maybe just maybe things will work this time.

I'm so tired

I'm tired. So tired. I get home at night and i'm asleep before 8pm. Seriously this is ridiculous. I always get tired on a cycle but mainly just before epu. I haven't even started my puregon, i start that in the morning. I'm getting worried actually, i have quite a few bruises already and don't know how i'm going to find enough space for 2 needles! Oh well tomorrow is exciting because i start the FSH and that means by about this time next week i should be starting to feel my ovaries! Bring on the follies!

Please can i have just one stress free cycle?

I've done 3 full stimulated cycles and 6 fet's and I think its about time i got my take home baby. The thing is every cylce i've done something goes wrong that stresses me out. What goes wrong varies but its always something and it always seems to stress me out and with those hormones pumping through my veins i don't cope well and usually end up an emotional mess. You see i put my whole self emotionally on the line when i do a cycle. No matter how many times i warn myself not to i still do. I tell myself i'm going to be upset anyway if it doens't work so why not go into it with a positive attitude and who knows it might actually work. Of course so far it hasn't not since my miscarriage anyway.

This time i'm doing things differently. I have a prayer from a friend to say each day with a medallion of St Gerard the patron Saint of Expectant Mothers. The person who gave me the medallion was given it by someone else while she underwent her first IVF cycle. She got one egg and that egg fertilised and she is now 14 weeks pregnant. Her and her husband have been trying for about 3 years with no luck and she passed the medallion onto me when she was just 6 weeks pregnant so that hopefully it will help me. I love that this dear friend of mine did this for me. I often feel isolated in this journey and this simple gesture from a friend just warmed my heart. So i put it on the first day i started injecting my lucrin and i haven't taken it off. Who knows if it will deliver our miracle to us but its just nice to have it as a comfort. 

Secondly i'm starting a new job working 5 days a week and this will happen during the TWW. I think a distraction for me will do me wonders. Usually i take time off work and lay around the house telling my emby to implant. That hasn't worked so far (and i gave it a fair shot -9 transfers!) so i'm going to plan B. Work my ass off and not think about it.

The drugs are all here. Mine get posted as i'm 6 hours from the clinic. The ice pack expoded in the bag and damaged all the boxes but the medicine was safe. Thats it - that will be the only thing that goes wrong for me this cycle.

Fingers crossed anyway!