I've done 3 full stimulated cycles and 6 fet's and I think its about time i got my take home baby. The thing is every cylce i've done something goes wrong that stresses me out. What goes wrong varies but its always something and it always seems to stress me out and with those hormones pumping through my veins i don't cope well and usually end up an emotional mess. You see i put my whole self emotionally on the line when i do a cycle. No matter how many times i warn myself not to i still do. I tell myself i'm going to be upset anyway if it doens't work so why not go into it with a positive attitude and who knows it might actually work. Of course so far it hasn't not since my miscarriage anyway.
This time i'm doing things differently. I have a prayer from a friend to say each day with a medallion of St Gerard the patron Saint of Expectant Mothers. The person who gave me the medallion was given it by someone else while she underwent her first IVF cycle. She got one egg and that egg fertilised and she is now 14 weeks pregnant. Her and her husband have been trying for about 3 years with no luck and she passed the medallion onto me when she was just 6 weeks pregnant so that hopefully it will help me. I love that this dear friend of mine did this for me. I often feel isolated in this journey and this simple gesture from a friend just warmed my heart. So i put it on the first day i started injecting my lucrin and i haven't taken it off. Who knows if it will deliver our miracle to us but its just nice to have it as a comfort.
Secondly i'm starting a new job working 5 days a week and this will happen during the TWW. I think a distraction for me will do me wonders. Usually i take time off work and lay around the house telling my emby to implant. That hasn't worked so far (and i gave it a fair shot -9 transfers!) so i'm going to plan B. Work my ass off and not think about it.
The drugs are all here. Mine get posted as i'm 6 hours from the clinic. The ice pack expoded in the bag and damaged all the boxes but the medicine was safe. Thats it - that will be the only thing that goes wrong for me this cycle.
Fingers crossed anyway!
2 comments:
Hi Jo,
Good luck for this cycle, I will be following you all the way.
What a special gift your dear friend gave you. I love saints and travel with St Christopher in my car. St Gerard will be a great calming influence for you, and congratulations on your new job. What a distraction for your TWW. Well Lovely, I just wanted to let you know I am wishing you all the best.
Kaz
I hope you have a stress free cycle too Joanne. And I hope you get that elusive BFP that you deserve :0)
*fingers crossed*
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